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Thursday 25 June 2015

Bittersweet Family Times

Yesterday I went to visit my mum. My dad, brother, nephew and Esmée came with me and it was quite an emotional day.

My mum is deteriorating quite quickly and has an oxygen tank with her at all times to help her breathe. She didn't need it the entire time we were there but as the day went on she became reliant on it. I found it quite shocking and upsetting to see. When my dad took her back to her flat later in the day, there was lots of breathing equipment and other things that made him realise how serious it all is - he's felt for a while that things may look worse than they actually are, but I think yesterday changed his mind slightly.

She was in good spirits though. Her faith has become much stronger since her diagnosis and she often tells my nan that she isn't scared. She's been reading up on eternity and has visited the chapel at the hospice she'll be moving to when the time comes.

A very sad aspect of yesterday is that it's likely it would have been the last time my brother, my mum and I were together. My brother goes back to New Zealand tomorrow and is visiting her one last time on his way to the airport, and he isn't able to come back for another couple of years so it's unlikely they'll see each other again. The whole situation is just heartbreaking and it's difficult to find any positives to her situation at the moment, other than at least he's been able to spend some time with her over the past 6 weeks.

My mum and I as a baby, and her with Esmée yesterday



Steve has been feeling slightly better recently, his treatment is going well and we had a nebuliser delivered to our house the other day so that if his asthma plays up and his inhaler doesn't help sufficiently, he can spend a few minutes using that to relieve the symptoms.

He's used it once so far and felt very light headed afterwards, but his chest felt much better within a couple of minutes.



We're also going to book a holiday for October time so that we have something to look forward to! We've only ever been abroad for two weddings and for a mini honeymoon after our wedding, each for a couple of days, so we're looking forward to organising a proper first family holiday.

I'll write again when I have more news :)

Thanks for reading and for all the well-wishes!

Lots of love Xx